• Vicky

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

Updated: Jun 16, 2019

Earlier this week I had a really really tough day at work. As a nurse in intensive care I’ve definitely built up a resilience to what’s sometimes going on around me, whilst also being able to let the walls down for people when necessary. But sometimes the walls get bulldozed down and it cuts you to the core.

It can be easy to be left reeling from certain traumatic situations we encounter, we’re only human after all. But I’ve really learnt to listen to my mind and body when this is the case. Self care is how you take your power back.

On my next day off I made sure I had hardly any plans for the day, and didn’t set an alarm. I slept til 11AM, soundly. I think my mind was so exhausted it just hit a reset button. Once I was up I decided to tackle a job I’d been putting off for ages. I made a bargain with myself that if I cleared out my wardrobe I could book a massage for later.

I pulled everything out that I no longer wanted/needed anymore and photographed each item. Then logged onto eBay and listed them all for sale. The good feeling I get from ticking a big job I’ve put off for ages is so calming, and it was a pretty mundane task so gave me some thinking time. I headed out to my massage appointment feeling a little lighter.

When I got back that evening I sent a message to one of my best friends explaining what had happened at work and we really talked it out. I’d given myself some time to process some of it already, but I really believe in the saying “a problem shared is a problem halved”. I felt a little lighter again.

Today I woke up feeling fresher and decided to just be really selfish. I have always said that flowers are such a mood lifter for me, so I popped in to my favourite florist and picked a up bunch of beauties. I stood in my kitchen just smiling at them.

I’m not saying all those emotions have just been sorted and tucked away in a box within a few days at all, but I feel like I’ve begun to work through some of it. Whilst also taking the time to think about myself and what makes me happy.

Sometimes I just need a cathartic clear out and a bunch of blooms. Taking time to talk with loved ones and giving myself the headspace I need. That isn’t a magic combination that’s going to work for everyone, you gotta find your own happy. But step one is recognising that everything isn't aright and you need to take a step back.

It’s okay not to be okay.

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